- (I work the floor at an independently-owned menswear store. The owner, my boss, spends a lot of time at the shop, and tries to keep prices as low as possible to help our city’s large homeless population get good job interview clothes. A clearly homeless man is wandering around the store. The other patrons are giving him looks.)
- “Excuse me, sir?”
- “Yes, ma’am?”
- “I think you may want to call security. That… bum over there, he keeps feeling the suits and muttering to himself. I’m just sure he’s planning to steal one.”
- “Well, ma’am, I think that’s quite unlikely.”
- “Oh, come on, you know how they are! I mean, I’d keep an eye on him even if he wasn’t homeless!”
- (The homeless man in question happens to be Hispanic.)
- “We don’t discriminate here, ma’am.”
- “Well, I’m sure the owner would want to hear about this!”
- (I give in and call him over. The customer explains her concerns. As a black man, my boss isn’t happy with her racism, but agrees to talk to the homeless man.)
- “Excuse me, sir, are you finding what you need?”
- “Well, not really. I’m hoping for something versatile in a dark or navy wool, but most of the options in my size are cut American style instead of European, which fits me a little better. Not to mention they’re all pinstriped, which I really don’t have the build for, you know?”
- “I… yes, I understand. I think we may have some options over here, if you’ll follow me. How did you know all that?”
- “Back before I lost my job, I used to be really into this stuff. I’m not looking for anything fancy, just something I can use to look good for a job interview later today.”
- (My boss helps him find something he likes, and comes to the counter with him. The suit is priced at $87.)
- *digging in his pockets* “Hang on, I think I’ve got enough.”
- *to me* “Take my card. I’m buying it for him.” *to the homeless man* “Here. The suit’s yours, on one condition. After your interview today, you come back and apply for a job here too. Got it?”
- “I… oh my God, thank you. Thank you so much.”
- (Two years later, that formerly-homeless man is my manager, and has a little girl with his new wife—the owner’s sister.)
Day seven of low carb and I’ve stayed completely on track.
It’s early, so I don’t feel any different.
I feel like I’m doing well, my only worry is that this seems too easy.
Today is a really low day.
I keep telling myself and everyone else that I’m going to be fine and that I made the right choice in quitting my job.
But today doesn’t feel good. The ominous feeling of rent and car registration and doctor fees and my favorite time of year is just all really getting to me.
Starting again is getting to me.
I just feel like a failure.
I’m sorry I went away.
Between the move, and school starting again and working a lot I just haven’t been able to be as active on tumblr as I like.
I also need to do a little revamping because I think I started to just come on here and get sad instead of motivated.
I’m doing well though. Lost ten pounds since the move, have my 5k in october which I’m not entirely ready for but we will see.
I hope you all are doing well.
I really love when my sister comes to visit. She’s one of my best friends and the only girl I can be myself around.
But in the same note, I’m once again back to feeling so inferior. Because she’s e strength athlete and strong and thinner than me again and has a perfect body and doesn’t drink or indulge or anything that u like to do when we visit. I realize even more how I’ve just become the fat lazy blob of a sister again and she’s so much better than me in every way and the worst part is that I know that she feels that way too. We were never close when I was at my smallest. Because there’s always been that extreme jealousy between us. Even though I’m the younger sister and I should be smaller, it’s just never worked out that way.
I’m just so uncomfortable and sad that I’m fat again, and that I obviously lack the motivation to make myself better.
I spent the entire night not being able to sleep because of one stupid comment about another woman. I laid on the couch wondering how I’ll EVER lose enough weight to not feel so awful about men’s affinity for impossibly small/skinny/attractive women.
I can feel myself slipping back into the thoughts I had when I was dating shane, and it feels so bad. I just want to feel like I’m not constantly in danger of being left for a better version of me.